The Truth Told
by Erika
Summary: After making the mistake of lying to his Master, ObiWan has to face up to his conscience and decide whether or not to confess his misdeed.


**_Title_**: The Truth Told

**_Author_**: Erika

**_Rating_**: PG (actually I think it's more like TL for "Totally Laughable" or TR for "Totally Ridiculous")

**_Summary_**: After making the mistake of lying to his Master, Obi-Wan has to face up to his conscience and decide whether or not to confess his misdeed.

**_Time Frame_**: It doesn't matter, I guess Obi-Wan's 16 or somewhere around there!

**_Spoilers_**: Slight ones for JA.

**_Category_**: Angst, non-slash, POV, AU (in JA it says that Obi never lies to Qui!) and my personal favorite: emotional Obi-torture!! *grin*

**_Disclaimers_**: The Star Wars universe and all of its characters belong to George Lucas, I'm only borrowing them to have a little fun and I promise to return them unharmed (well, at least mostly unharmed). I'm making no money off of this and this is written for entertainment purposes only. 

**_Feedback_**: Don't make me beg!!!!! Both positive feedback and _constructive_ criticism are greatly appreciated and will be cherished! (firedrake88@yahoo.com)

**_Archive_**: Jedi Apprentice, Early Years, Wolfie's Den, and anyone who has any of my other stuff. Anyone else who wants this, please ask and send me a link to your site so that I can check it out :-D

A note from me, the author: This is very different from my other two stories but don't worry, there _is_ a little mush in there anyway. I'm usually not into this crime and punishment thing but I was bitten really hard by a plot bunny and it wouldn't leave me alone until I had written this! I know it's not as good as my other stuff, but I _had_ to write this, I just _had_ too! 

Also, this was not betad by anyone so any and all mistakes are mine and mine alone! I actually just wrote this earlier today. I don't usually post things so quickly but I know that if I keep it any longer I'll either change it completely or delete it or something like that! I'm not really very happy with this but I hope that at least _someone_ enjoys it.

The Truth Told

**Obi-Wan:**

I looked slowly about the meditation garden from where I sat, leaning back against the Merelia tree. The hundreds of differently colored flowers seemed to be looking at me through accusing eyes. The unusually beautiful flowers that surrounded the tree had always served to calm me before but now they only reminded me of what I had done. Even the tree's shadow seemed disappointed in me, casting itself over me with a cold indifference.

I sighed loudly and covered my face with my hands. I had tried meditating but it hadn't helped, I just couldn't seem to concentrate enough. Even talking to Bant hadn't helped; I hadn't even been able to tell her what was bothering me. I didn't want to her to know. I didn't want her to know that I had lied to Qui-Gon. I didn't want anyone to know, least of all my Master.

Force, why was this so hard? I hadn't meant to lie to him; it had just slipped out of my mouth before I had time to think it over. It was ten and I had been coming home from my date with Myra. Myra was a year older than me and lived near the Temple. We had met a few months ago and had nearly been inseparable since. Every time I was with her my body tingled and my heartbeat would increase. I had never felt like this before. When I entered the quarters I shared with Qui-Gon he had smiled and asked me if I had gone out with Bant. I had responded yes. Just a simple lie. 

The truth was that I had taken the opportunity to get out of explaining who I had really gone out with. This was my first girlfriend and I knew that Qui-Gon would disapprove of her being from outside the Temple. I didn't want him to forbid me from seeing her so I had said "Yes, Master" to his question and thought little of it until a couple hours later when I couldn't fall asleep.

Why did it make me feel so guilty? It was just a simple lie and yet I felt like a traitor, like I had betrayed Qui-Gon's trust in me. I was having trouble concentrating in my lessons and I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I was filled with the image of Qui-Gon's face, eyes dim with disappointment in me. I couldn't tell him I had lied. I couldn't bear to see the disappointed in his eyes or hear the regret in his voice. I had never lied to him, what would Qui-Gon think of me?

As much as I wanted to forget that it had ever happened I knew I had to tell him. It was the right thing to do. He would be disappointed in me, yes, and of course I would get in trouble but it would be better than him finding out from Bant. He had to hear it from me. I couldn't tell him though. I didn't have the courage to look him in the eyes and confess that I had lied to him. He would feel betrayed, I knew, but would he get angry? I had never seen Qui-Gon truly angry and I didn't want to be the cause of his anger.

What if this caused him to doubt our bond? Would he send me away? Would he feel that he had suffered yet another betrayal from an apprentice? How could I cause him that pain? 

I sighed again. Why had I been so stupid? I should have just told him the truth. It would have been better than this. I had tried to tell him so many times but the words had never come. Qui-Gon was worried about me. He hadn't said anything yet but I new that if this continued he would talk to me about it. What would I tell him them? Would I be able to look him in the eyes and confess what I had done?

I didn't want to tell him and yet I didn't want to _not_ tell him. What was I going to do? How could I have known that one little 'yes' would eat at my conscience so terribly? I felt like I had condemned my Master to death and yet all I had done was falsely answered a simple question.

What if Qui-Gon talked to Bant and found out I hadn't been with her? What would he think then? He would be even more disappointed in me and then Bant would also know what I had done. I had to tell him.

No, another part of my mind screamed. He would forbid me to see Myra again and then what would I do? I knew that if I snuck out to see her that would be even worse but I _had_ to see her again. 

What about my conscience though? I had never felt this bad about anything I had done since Melida/Daan and Bruck. If I didn't tell Qui-Gon this would eat me up inside. I had lied to him. I had broken the trust between us. I had to be punished for my conduct. I had to put an end to the torture that my mind was throwing at me.

Swallowing hard and taking a deep breath I rose to my feet and quickly left the garden. Qui-Gon would be in his room. I _had_ to tell him. I had to.

~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as I reached Qui-Gon's door I felt like running. "No," I said fiercely to myself. I had to get this over with. I would handle the disappointment, I had done it before. He wouldn't send me away…would he?

I knocked softly on my Master's door, almost praying that he wouldn't hear me.

"Come in, Padawan," Qui-Gon said pleasantly. 

Of Force, how was I going to find the strength to do this? I opened the door and looked around my Master's room. He was sitting in his chair, by his bed, waiting for me.

I took another deep breath. I could do this. I had to do this. 

"Is something wrong, Obi-Wan? Are you unwell?" My Master asked, sounding worried.

I shook my head, "I-I feel fine, Master," I managed to stutter out, "I-I have something to tell you."

Qui-Gon nodded and smiled. A moment later I felt waves of comfort reach me through our bond, "What is it, Obi-Wan?" he asked gently.

Without meeting his eyes I approached his chair and knelt before it. Then I reached out to the Force to find my center and calm my raging emotions. I could do this. Finally, I looked up into Qui-Gon's concerned crystal blue eyes. "R-remember a few nights ago when I went o-out?" I faltered, already pleading for forgiveness.

"When you went out with Bant?"

My courage suddenly wavered and I fixed my eyes on the floor. "No," I said softly, 'I mean yes but…b-but…I didn't go out with Bant." I took a deep gulp of air and forced myself to continue, "I-l lied to you, M-Master." There, I had said it. I didn't feel any better though, I felt sick to my stomach and like my world was about to come to a screeching halt. What did Qui-Gon think of me now? "I…I went out with a girl named Myra…she's my…girlfriend, M-Master."

Silence. Qui-Gon didn't even acknowledge that I had spoken. Oh no, my mind reeled with panic, what if I had hurt him? He had trusted me and I had broken his trust…again. Why had I lied to him? Everything has been going so well between us. Why had I lied? "I…I wanted to tell you but I was a-afraid, Master. I'm sorry." 

I moved back from the chair to give myself enough room and then I placed my hands to either side of my body and leaned down until my forehead was touching Qui-Gon's boots. "Please forgive me, my Master. I have committed a grave error and I am terribly sorry for what I have done. I promise that I will never lie to you again. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me," I spoke into the ground, grateful that this position prevented me from seeing the disappointment in Qui-Gon's eyes and the sadness on his face as he realized that I was no better than Xanatos.

For what was an eternity of painful, torturous silent minutes Qui-Gon didn't speak and I couldn't feel anything through our bond. I had expected him to lecture me, to tell me how disappointed he was, to say I was unfit to be a Jedi and that I had broken the most sacred trust between a Master and apprentice. I hadn't expected the silence. Force, this was even harder than any angry words that Qui-Gon could ever have spoken to me.

Finally, when tears were forming in my eyes and I was about ready to beg for his forgiveness, he spoke. "Stand up, Obi-Wan," he said severely.

Keeping my eyes fixed on the ground and my head bent low, I did as he bid me. I started and had to stop myself from jerking back when a gentle hand fell to my shoulder. "Come sit with me on my bed," he instructed, pushing me towards the bed a couple of feet away.

Still too afraid and ashamed to look him in the eyes I kept my head lowered and sat, trembling, on the bed. Qui-Gon sat down next to me and again I was surprised when he draped his arm around my shoulders.

"Look at me, Obi-Wan," he ordered and waited for me to comply.

My hands suddenly began to shake violently and my heart leapt up into my throat but I forced myself to raise my head. I didn't know what I expected to see the most of: disappointment, sadness, or anger, but what I did see surprised me. Acceptance and gentle concern. 

I was surprised, to say the least. Was I misreading him or was he hiding his true emotions from me? He _had_ to be disappointed. I knew I was supposed to wait for him to continue but I had to speak. "Master," I said pleadingly, "Master, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to lie to you, truly I didn't, it's just that…"

"Obi-Wan, stop," Qui-Gon commanded and I immediately fell silent. "Lying is a very serious offense, Padawan, and have no doubt that you shall be duly punished for it, but at the moment I am more concerned with the emotions I am sensing from you and the reasons behind your lie."

I couldn't stop my surprise from showing on my face. This was the last thing I had expected. He didn't sound mad. 

"You're afraid, nervous, panicked. These are not emotions you should feel when speaking to me. I understand your nervousness, but Padawan, what do you think that I would do to you that you are so afraid?"

"I'm sorry, Master," I said desperately, "I didn't mean to disappoint you or hurt you. I don't know why I lied, after all these years. Please forgive me, I promise I won't ever do it again. I'll be the perfect Padawan, please don't send me away."

"Oh, Obi-Wan, I would never send you away. How could you ever think that?" A large, gentle hand came down and enfolded one of my smaller ones. With his other hand Qui-Gon took hold of my chin and moved forward until his face was just inches from mine. "Listen to me, Obi-Wan," he said severely, emphasizing each word, "I will _never_, _ever_, send you away. I will _never_ send you back to Bandomeer, I will _never_ abandon you. No matter what you do, you will _always_ be my Padawan."

I stared into my Master's intense blue eyes, too shocked to even speak. I was not sure which emotion was greater; my relief or my joy. It felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Even though the lecture and the punishment were still to come, Qui-Gon's words liberated me. He wasn't going to send me back. He cared for me. Despite the fact that I had lied to him, he actually cared for me. The days of fear and worry that had pilled up on me came crashing down and before I could even try to stop them, tears of pure relief flooded my eyes and wet my cheeks.

I wanted to turn away and hide my tears from Qui-Gon but his hand firmly kept me from moving and his eyes never left my face. When he pulled back a little I thought that my Master would now continue with the lecture and was surprised when instead he opened his arms to me.

My Master rarely ever hugged me or showed me his affection in any way and the offer was too tempting to resist. Without even hesitating I melted into my Master's arms and clung to him desperately. "Shh," Qui-Gon soothed me gently, "It's alright, Obi-Wan."

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, burying my face in his chest. "I'm so sorry."

"I know, Padawan, I know that you're sorry, and I forgive you," he said, rubbing my back and ruffling my hair gently. "It's okay, Padawan, it's okay."

I couldn't say how long he held me, all I knew was that by the time he let me go my tears had long since dried although my trembling had yet to cease. As soon as he released me I drew back and straightened my from, waiting for him to speak again. 

I was still worried but Qui-Gon's words had relieved me of my fear and now I just wanted to move on and forget that this had ever happened. "Know that although I do forgive you I _am_ very disappointed with your behavior. Lying is no small misdeed," my Master said gravely.

Flinching back instinctively I felt my dread rising. He was disappointed in me. Those words, spoken so severely, were a greater punishment than Qui-Gon could ever bestow upon me. "Master," I started but Qui-Gon interrupted me.

"Lying is no small misdeed," he repeated, "and will not be treated lightly. Tell me, Padawan, why did you feel it necessary to lie?"

"I met Myra a few months ago, Master, and we started dating a few weeks ago. The night I said that I went out with Bant I really went out with her. I didn't tell you…" I paused slightly to take a deep breath, "I didn't tell you because I was afraid that you wouldn't let me see her again. I'm sorry, Master."

Qui-Gon sighed heavily, "If that is the case then it appears I also owe you an apology. I should have made it more clear to you how much you mean to me and that you can always feel free to tell me of any and all of your friends without fear that I would do something like that. You should never feel that you can't confide in me, Obi-Wan. If you had asked me for permission to begin dating, I would have gladly given it to you."

"You would have?" I was so surprised that I couldn't keep myself from blurting out my question.

"Yes," he answered, "I would have. However, you did not ask me and you will have to bear the consequences."

I glanced down at my hands again, "Yes, Master. I will accept any punishment that you see fit to give me."

"Before we get to that," he said, sounding slightly amused, "I want to ensure that I completely understand your reasons for lying to me and that you understand how unnecessary it truly was."

I nodded.

"Padawan, I know that I am often unduly cold to you but that should never make you feel that you cannot speak to me without fear. Your lie was completely unnecessary. If you had simply told me about Myra we would have avoided this entire situation. I would not forbid you from having a girlfriend or from ever seeing her again without having ever met her. I am sorry that you think me so unjust."

"No, Master!" I protested, horrified, "I know that you are just, I don't know why I ever thought that you would do something like that. I guess I wasn't thinking, I should have told you. I know that now."

"A lie never holds for long, Obi-Wan. It was very mature of you to come tell me yourself but I would have eventually found out anyway. By lying you were only postponing the inevitably of my finding out you have a girlfriend. It did not solve anything and is unfit behavior for a Jedi. You are not usually like this, Padawan. It concerns me that you felt so strongly that I would not let you have a girlfriend that you would be forced to lie to me."

"I'm sorry, Master," I said miserably.

"I know. I could lecture you, Obi-Wan, on how important the trust between a Master and Padawan is and how wrong it is to lie, but you already know all that and I'm not sure it would do any good. We will discuss this further, Padawan. I need time to meditate and consider what I have learned from you today. If my coldness to you has led to this than I need to mend my behavior, and if it is something else than we need to work on that as well."

"Yes, Master," I said. I felt better for having admitted what I had done and I believed my Master when he said that he would never send me away. Despite the fact that I had disappointed me, which saddened me greatly, I felt better than I had in days. 

"You are grounded for the next two months. When you are not in class or training with me you will return to our quarters and perform extra lessons which I will assign you. You are not to speak more than passingly with any of your friends and you are confined to the Temple. In two months when your grounding is lifted, your curfew will be held to eight at night, instead of ten thirty. It will be my decision, taking your behavior into account, when to let you have your old curfew back. Is this understood?"

"Yes, Master." I had somehow expected something worse. For all that I had been worrying I had expected Qui-Gon to be furious with me and yell at me. I had not expected this.

"Now please return to your room and wait there until I come speak with you. I will meditate and then we will further discuss what has happened."

I nodded my understanding and slowly rose to leave the room. When I reached the door I stopped to hear Qui-Gon's words, "Obi-Wan," he said, "when your grounding is lifted I would like very much to meet Myra, you will have to invite her over."

Surprised, I turned to face Qui-Gon. When I met his gaze I found forgiveness and warmth there, "Thank you, Master," I said, trying to convey all of my feelings into those two words.

Qui-Gon smiled warmly at me, "You're welcome, Padawan."

With a happiness I hadn't felt in days, I smiled back at my Master and found that everything was alright again.

The End

Okay, now that you've read the story let me explain something. I know that it seems like Obi-Wan was _severely_ punished for lying, especially considering what the lie was, but I was trying to tackle it more from a Jedi Master's POV. Trust, IMO, is the most important thing between a Master and his Padawan. A small lie might mean nothing but it could also lead to larger lies that could, depending on what they are, endanger lives and the trust that exists in a team. If there is no trust I don't think they'd really be able to work very well. That's why he was so severely punished, if you were wondering.


End file.
